Toke It Up
by Daddy's Little Cannibal
Summary: Emmett gets Bella high. Wrote it about a week ago, thought I'd save it for 4-20 because it's funnier that way. Share hugs NOT drugs! ONE-SHOT!


**A/N:** I could spend hours telling ya'll that drugs are bad, but I don't want to. We've all seen the videos and honestly if you have a problem with the fact that I wrote a story of_ fiction_ about them doing drugs, than send in your flames. It's _fiction_ for one, second it's just made to be funny. I don't like 4-20, I think it's stupid and totally **not** a holiday.

**Summary:** Emmett gets Bella high. Wrote it about a week ago, thought I'd save it for 4-20 because it's funnier that way. :D

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana...  
The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."  
-Unknown

**Toke It Up**

Emmett smiled at Bella, Bella looked at him and shook her head. "You're kidding right?"

Emmett laughed and shook his head, he handed her the joint. "All you have to do is light and suck, it's like a cigarette except it burns out easier."

Bella looked up at him and raised an eyebrow, "and you know this how?"

Emmett shrugged. "I _was_ a human once remember?" Bella took a deep breath and grabbed the joint from him. Emmett smiled and lit the lighter. "Now breath in, hard." She nodded and started to breath, the paper lit on fire and started to burn, she could feel the smoke gather in her mouth. "Now breath it in."

Bella pulled the paper filled with grass away from her mouth and swallowed the smoke in her mouth. She coughed loudly as her lungs started to blacken from the smoke, or would it turn green? Emmett laughed as she tried to breath.

"How can anyone get joy out of this?" She asked no one in particular.

Emmett took the joint from her and took and started to suck, the cherry lit up as the paper started to ash. He sucked in the smoke and held it for awhile, he was a vampire so he could hold his breath longer than Bella, he finally let it go, the smoke hovered in the air. He smiled back at Bella and handed her the joint.

She looked at it and finally grabbed it from Emmett. "That's my girl." Emmett coaxed as he lit it up for Bella again.

Bella sucked it in and held it longer, she eventually had to breath and coughed out the smoke again. "Eck. It burns." She complained. Emmett nodded and took the joint away from her again. As Emmett was about to light the joint, Bella let out a loud burp, a bunch of smoke coming out with it.

Emmett and Bella cracked up laughing. Emmett dropped the joint on the carpet in his room, his head hitting the back of the couch they were sitting on. Bella leaned on the arm rest, her face turning red from embarrassment and lack of air.

"Nice." Emmett laughed, Bella pulled herself up right again, crossing her legs under her. "I need to babysit you more often." Emmett joked. Bella laughed again, which made Emmett laugh harder.

The smoke started to gather around the room as they continued to share the joint.

"Have you ever notice how hot vampires are?" Emmett asked. Bella gave him a weird look grabbing the joint from him, lighting it herself. "I mean it's like vampires always pick the pretty people to be vampires." Bella nodded, sucking on the paper. "I wander what a fat person would look as a vampire."

Bella laughed, dropping the joint on the couch. Emmett laughed with her and leaned into pick up the joint. Bella started coughing through her laughing. "You're so stupid." She laughed, Emmett laughed harder.

"It's true though." He choked out.

Bella laid back on the couch, she lifted her hand in the air. "Imagine if the whole world was like this." She said, her head rolling off the edge of the arm rest. "Imagine if the whole world was high, imagine how happy everyone would be."

Emmett nodded. "It's like that song from John Lennon _Imagine_."

Bella leaned forward. "Woah! I didn't even think about that!"

He nodded. "Good song."

Bella nodded. "Imagine there's no Heaven." She started to sing.

"It's easy if you try." Emmett countered.

"Imagine if I had a bag of chips. I'm starving." She sang the first part and finished the second part by talking. She took the roach from Emmett.

He laughed. "I knew that was coming."

He leaned over the arm rest on his side of the couch and pulled out a huge bag of _Fritos_. Bella smiled and grabbed the bag from him before he even had time to fully lift it over the arm rest. "Hungry much?" He asked.

Bella nodded her head as she opened the bag and grabbed a handful of chips and shoved it in her mouth. He shook his head and grabbed the roach from her.

"You're not hungry?" She asked. He raised an eyebrow at her. "I mean you don't want blood or anything."

He shook his head. "One of the joys of being a vampire."

Bella nodded. "I can't wait till I'm a vampire." She mumbled stuffing more chips into her face.

"The sex is awesome." Emmett said.

Bella coughed a little as she blushed, hard. Emmett looked at her with confused than laughed. "He hasn't done yet has he?!" He was laughing. Bella blushed and shook her head. "What the heck does he do all night in your room than?"

Bella blushed harder and shrugged. "I don't know, stare at me while I sleep."

Emmet scrunched his eyebrows together. "You're kidding right. He spends every night in your house, just to stare at you sleep all night. And he gets nothing out of it?" Emmett shook his head in mock shame.

Bella leaned forward. "Wait just a minute! Don't you blame me, I'm more than willing to do it, but Mr. Virtue won't let me."

Emmett laughed. "Who's virtue is he trying to protect, yours or his."

Bella shrugged. "I don't know anymore." She took another handful of chips.

The door opened before anymore could be said about the subject. Edward walked in angry, very angry. Bella jumped from the seat, very soggily and hid behind Emmett. "He made me do it!" She screamed pointing at Emmett.

Edward stormed in, if he was human his face would be red with anger. Alice stood behind him the door way, waving the smoke from her face. "God, do you think you two killed enough brain cells yet?"

Emmett laughed and held his hand up as to give Edward a high five. "Relax man, just giving Bella a human experience that I know you wouldn't."

Edward's eyes widened and his mouth dropped. "Do you know what weed does to you?!" He screamed. "You were alive in the sixties! You saw the effects of Woodstock!"

Bella nodded and crawled from behind Emmett giggling. "Exactly Emmett. How horrible of a vampire can you get?!" She asked in mock horror.

Edward looked at her. "Don't think you're off the hook!" He stalked over to her and grabbed her arm gently, but still aggressive, he started to pull her out of Emmett's room.

"Where are you taking me?!" Bella asked, reaching for the bag of chips.

"You're writing me a three page essay of the negative effects of weed." Edward told her as he led out of the room. Bella groaned and glared at Emmett who fell off the couch because he was laughing so hard.

**End.**

**A/N:** The ending sucks...awe well. Oh and I don't smoke weed or get high, I'm not even going to say happy 4-20. But I am going to ask everyone to remember the students of Columbine Highschool, because today is the anniversary of the school shooting. Rachel's father, she was the first student to get shot, came to my school last year and told us about it. It was the most painful thing I ever had to sit through. So I have no respect for _anyone_ that looks at 4-20 as a national holiday, it's the day they made weed illegal, guys! Anyways, leave a review if you like it. Also check out my other stories, they're a lot cuter and more funny than this.

Daddy's Little Cannibal


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